Every parent knows that parenting is not a walk in the park, but it’s even more challenging when it comes to understanding a neurodivergent child. Be it autism, ADHD, or even dyslexia, understanding these children’s strengths and challenges requires a lot of patience and flexibility. As a parent, instead of trying to fit your strategies within a pre-existing traditional framework, it is pivotal to shift your strategies to where your child is comfortable.
When it comes to discussing parenting with a neurodiverse approach, one thing is clear, focus needs to be placed on understanding the strengths these specific children have.
Understanding Neurodivergence: More Than Just Labels
Neurodivergent indicates how the brain deviates from what is considered “normal.” Join us as we discuss the key concepts or terms of neurodiversity.
- Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) – impacts one’s language ability, how one uses their senses, and how one interacts socially.
- Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – Deals with the ability to concentrate and control impulses and energy levels.
- Dyslexia – Impacts a person’s ability to read, text, and process language.
- Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) – Affects one’s response to stimuli by either enhancing or suppressing normal sensations.
- This is just the tip of the iceberg, but these differences will have their own set of challenges and strengths, which is why adopting a blanket approach when it comes to parenting is not and will never be adequate.
Adjusting Parental Approaches For Different Brain Types
1. Parenting a Child Living with Autism: Incorporating Structure and Sensory Consideration
Most autistic children perform best when there is a set expectation and routine that they can follow. Because of the nature of some autistic children, a change in routine can be quite taxing, so there needs to be some level of predictability.
What Helps?
- Developing visual schedules that guide and dictate the child’s daily routines.
- Providing clear and direct speech (no sarcastic or indirect comments).
- Offering capable spaces where children can self-soothe.
- Accepting their wish to be alone after some intensive social activity.
What to Avoid?
- Demanding eye contact or requesting too much social engagement.
- Giving lengthy verbal instructions without any visual aids.
- Expecting them to go along with unspecified plans.
Accomplish: Autistic youngsters frequently possess the ability to focus on awe-inspiring parts, with the capacity to understand and appreciate a theme deeply. Inviting a child to pursue special interests can be a nice way to bond.
2. Parenting a child with ADHD: Adjusting To Dispensing With Rest and The Need To Be Mobile
ADHD is commonly and wrongly perceived as just excessive movement, but it actually explains the functioning of the child’s brain concerning attention, motivation, and self-regulation.
What Helps?
- Permitting movement for children and adolescents while doing work as opposed to enforcing sitting still.
- When setting tasks, give a time limit and remind them visually as well.
- Offering options to complete an assignment to capture their interest.
- Pushing children to learn through interactive methods.
What to Avoid?
- Referring to them as “lazy” or deducting that they are zoning out.
- Suspecting that a break would be needed in between long sequences of sitting still.
- Relying heavily on punitive measures for impulsivity that stems from self-regulation issues (self control, not defiance).
Celebrate: ADHD kids are frequently creative, full of energy, and enthusiastic. It is important to help these children find positive ways to focus their energy so they can succeed.
3. Parenting a Child with Dyslexia: Assisting Learning Without Putting Too Much Stress
Dyslexia is not about a benchmark of one’s intelligence but about the functionality of the brain a person possesses. These children have difficulty with reading and writing but can be highly creative and proficient in problem-solving.
What Helps?
- Listening to audiobooks and other verbal instructions.
- Building on art, music, and even STEM as non-reading subjects.
- Requesting additional time for assignments, essays, and reading in school.
- Making reading enjoyable without any undue pressure (graphic novels and games with storylines are good).
What to Avoid?
- Relative to students who can read fluently.
- Reprimanding them for spelling or reading inaccuracies.
- Assuming that everything requires more effort.
Celebrate: Lumped together are co-called “dyslexics” who change into the best world storytellers, marvelous artists, and even inventors simply because of their way of thinking, which brings revolutionizing outcomes!
4. Parenting a Child With Sensory Processing Challenges: Making the Environment More Sensory-Friendly
Children diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) see the world through a different lens; some are overly sensitive, and others look for sensory experience.
What Works?
- Recognizing their sensory triggers and modifying the surroundings accordingly.
- Supplying materials such as fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, or weighted blankets.
- Letting them wear tailored clothes that are comfortable against their skin.
- Acknowledging their need to recuperate after distressing situations.
What Not To Do?
- Putting them in situations where there are uncomfortable sensations.
- Ignoring their preferences for certain textures in food or fabrics.
- Reading too much or too little into their comfort thresholds.
- Applaud: This group of children tends to have an overwhelming capacity to empathize and are remarkably attentive. They can make exceptional observations.
Takeaway: There is no one correct approach to parenting. What can be said is that there is only one that works for your child.
Supporting a neurodivergent child doesn’t only involve helping resolve their challenges, but also trying to understand and appreciate the unique strengths they possess. The most important thing? Understand where your child is coming from and, more importantly, meet them there.
When approaching parenting, try to remember that children and expected behaviors are not what should be “fixed.” Instead, support them as they navigate their complex world and focus your attention on understanding how and why your child reacts the way they do.
It is not your child’s duty to conform to society’s standards. They require a setting in which they can grow as their true self. As a parent, you are their biggest supporter, best cheerleader, and safe haven.
What are some tips and strategies you have employed to raise a neurodivergent child? Let me know in the comments.