Everyone loves a stable marriage because it is the best way to raise kids. However, a time comes when the relationship is not working, and staying together may be detrimental to you and your children.
Divorce is not the easiest of transitions in life, but divorce can be the best thing to do for your situation. In that case, we have some tips on how to get through a divorce with kids.
How to file for divorce with kids
The process of filing for divorce starts with making a child support agreement. You can negotiate on how each partner will provide financial and emotional support independently or with the help of a professional. If you cannot agree in the presence of a mediator, seek court intervention.
The court will listen to each party and issue an order that protects the interests of all parties. The divorce order addresses most of the legal issues related to child custody. The two parties bear the costs of the court process.
When to get a divorce with kids
Divorce can be traumatizing, but after a period of separation, it may be best to seek a legal order. However, even if you detest your partner, treat them with respect in the presence of the children.
Children need as much normalcy as they can get, and relating with the other partner helps stabilize them and restore confidence in parents. Invite your ex to all important events in their lives, such as graduations, birthdays, and family holidays to ensure continuity.
Avoid demonising the other partner
While it is natural to be defensive when getting a divorce with kids, you should remain neutral when discussing it with children. Limit engagement to the most important information, such as what is a divorce and its implications on their lives.
Avoid denigrating the other partner in the presence of your children because it negatively impacts their bond with both parents. Even though your feelings towards the other partner may have changed, the children still hold them in high esteem and love them as parents.
Assure them of your love
Children struggle to absorb radical disruptions, so it is critical that you understand how to divorce with kids. Mishandling the process can cause confusion, behavioral disorders, and even depression. That is why you should assure them that you and your partner love and cherish them, and will do their best to protect their interests.
Going through divorce with kids
Sometimes the children’s reaction to the divorce may manifest in extreme distress while other children may cope or even thrive after the separation. Whatever response you get from the children, it is important to enlist professional help for you and your children.
You need therapy to cope with stressors such as rejection, loneliness, and financial distress that may result from the separation. The children need support to go through the transition even if they may seem to be doing fine.
Don’t lean on them for support
You might find yourself seeking children’s support and confidence due to the lack of an intimate partner. Avoid this temptation because children cannot interpret issues like adults.
Always maintain control and composure in front of the children even when you are experiencing mood swings and emotional breakdowns. Find support from dependable adults such as family therapists, support groups, and other resources in the community.
Wrapping up
Children are incredibly resilient but need support and guidance to go through the process of separation and divorce. It helps if the parent has good coping mechanisms and behaviors that help them manage the distressful events unfolding in their young lives.